The Chickadee Feeder

BEING A BAG LADY

Today it was time to do
something about the messes of bags (mostly plastic) that have accumulated in
the hallway closet—you know, the kind of situation where it all comes falling
out when the door is opened?  Because
when it was closed the last time, I
stuffed everything in just enough to get the door closed and hoped for the best!

I like plastic bags just as
much I like and collect cloth ones, and there are some I just want to hang on
to forever.  I keep them because they
will be “useful” at a certain future day.

For example, isn’t this
large bag with handles so handy and convenient?

This was a souvenir someone
brought back for us from England; certainly Sainsbury’s is my favorite grocery chain
there.   

And who wouldn’t look classy
at a homeschool convention carrying one of these around?  Although I have to admit, I’m not sure where
else I would carry it….  It surely was an
expensive bag, with the gold and all, so I shouldn’t throw it away—it would be
too wasteful.

This one is not my favorite,
but it’s the right size, the right price, and the right kind of helpful
plastic.  It is a very handy bag!  Because of its appearance, I don’t find
myself using it very often.  But I need
to keep it just in case.  

These always show you have
good taste and a lot of money (or you HAD a lot of money till you acquired the
bag).  

But my favorites are the
ones that bring back wonderful memories. 
And they’re handy for showing off. 
I can’t use them very often because I wouldn’t want to lose them, you
know:    

And here’s the best of
all:

SIR LANCELOT HE’S NOT

There’s been a surplus of
hilarious activity in the wide world recently. 
One way of keeping up-to-date on these sorts of things is to read the
Odd News that Yahoo offers.  For
instance, there was the Japanese fellow who had a woman secretly living in his closet
for a whole year—he DID keep wondering why food disappeared from his home while
he was away at work.

She was tidy and clean,
though.

Then there was the man who
(when his wife was away) hired a nude maid to clean the house for $100 an
hour.  Somehow, when he wasn’t looking,
she stole $40,000 of his wife’s jewelry.

And there was the lost pet
bird who was able to tell the vet what his name and address is (he had been
cautious enough not to divulge this information to the police).

Or how about the scientists
who wanted to get camera footage of a rare rhino species, in order to learn
their secrets?  The only footage they got
was that of the rhinos destroying the cameras.

The best one, though, is
about the guy who was caught crawling under a table in a university
library—spraying saltwater onto a woman’s shoes with a syringe.  Here is an honest-to-goodness police photograph
of him: