June 2007


DOCTOR WOES

Isn’t it funny how every
time you visit the doctor, it’s as if they’ve never seen you before?  And you have to fill out all those forms with
your life history…wonder if they compared all of my past ones, how much they would
vary from each other:

Last menstrual period:               April 22, 2000

                                                April 2000

                                                April 2001

                                                2000-2001?

                                                a few years ago

                                                can’t remember

I settle down with the
clipboard and a pen advertising the latest allergy medication, and carefully
write my full name at the top (names have been changed to protect the
innocent)
:  EDWINA JANE TURMOIL.  In full block letters, printed.  When the page asks for my street address, I
write “Road” all the way out, elegantly.

But as the paper progresses,
I begin to tire.  They want my name
again??  “Edwina J. Turmoil.”  Still in capital letters, but not quite as
neat.

And again???!  “Ed Turmoil,” cursive-written, let’s get it
over with.  And by the way, I live on “Rd.”  too!

Visiting the doctor’s office
is always a time of both eagerness and frustration for me, because I love to
read.  And they have all those
interesting magazines that I do not have at my home.  After the penance of filling out all the
history forms, I get to choose which magazine I would like to read– magazines
that stun me with amazing news I can’t believe I’ve been living without all
this time.  Such as “Make-over your
bathroom in 30 minutes” or “Cosmetic tips that make you look younger.”  And of course there are the “to die for” food
recipes.

But now the worry
begins.  I’ve found the article I REALLY
want to read and/or that’s going to change my life, BUT:  will I have time to read it before the nurses
call my name???  Hurry, hurry, skim,
skim!!

This time they called my
name right in the middle of learning about actress Fran Drescher and how she
has dealt with cancer.  I didn’t know she
had cancer, I wonder what kind it is? .…sigh.

     

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Currently humming “Paperback wri-i-i-i-iter…”


BACK HOME IN INDIANA

Benedictmock and I spent a
week “back home,” visiting family.  How
good it is!:

Where you can go to Pizza
Hut in the next town and run into someone from your high school class (we
graduated 32 years ago)

Lots of people wearing blue
jeans

The main talk is about the
lack of rain…and whether or not your car will take ethanol

Older farmers in bib
overalls

Small-town parades

Vera Bradley handbags

Tenderloin sandwiches

Best quote from the aunts:  “Would using ethanol in my car smell like
corn?  THAT would make me hungry all the
time.  Not much of a savings if I had to
stop every 5 miles to get something to eat!”

Oh, and then there’s the blacksheep
cousin who drives a bright blue 3-wheel motorcycle and runs a bail bond
service.  His slogan on written ads is “I’ve
been there before—I know how it feels!”