HANGIN’ UP YOUR HAT

My older son and his wife arrived to our house last night, from Florida.  He quickly made himself at home.

Today they dressed to join their friends, at a dagorhir gathering.

They’ll be here for a few days, and then they’ll be off to visit her family for a while.

 

 

THE GIFT MY SON GAVE ME

In an email I sent my friends about dealing with breast cancer, I said that it seems to me it would helpful to think good and healing thoughts–but how can you do that about chemo?  We all think of chemo as

The Bad Thing, The Enemy, “it does all but kill you.”  

I had just seen the Avengers movie with all the superheroes, so here’s what I’ve decided to do:  I’m thinking of the chemo as

The Incredible Hulk

 

Dr. Bannerman (the man) is really a nice guy, and the Hulk is a great fighter.  If you need some help in fighting of enemies, he is someone you want to have on your side.  It’s just that he goes a little overboard and kills off some of the good guys in the process, poor thing.

But you know, they always win at the end.

My younger son is a quiet person who doesn’t say much, but often expresses strong and dear thoughts in powerful ways.  He was gone over my birthday, and left a small wrapped package for me to open on The Day.  I was so moved by what was inside.

 

And here’s what the package says:  

Though the Hulk is only barely in control of the vast power that boils within his massive body, he is usually able to direct it against the proper target.  His rage–and his strength–know no bounds.  So beware all those who stand against the Avengers:  When you face the Hulk, you face fury incarnate.

PERFECT.  Can you imagine my son taking the time and thought to encourage me in this way?  He is a special gem.

 

 

EMPTIER HOUSE

It’s been 2 weeks since the wedding, since Older Son and Fiance both moved out of our house for good, and the impact of it is starting to settle in.

They will come to visit, yes, but they will never live with us again.  They are gone, and nothing will be the same.

This is what our house looks like:

Empty More space in the closet

Empty More space at the table

Empty More room on the towel rack

Empty Free drawer space

 

Bitter Sweets Indeed

 

A NEW BEGINNING

A new beginning for all in our family:  my Oldest Son married his sweetheart on Tuesday!  This is the first photo to surface so far; more to follow when we get them:

Soooo many friends helped us with the wedding.  The cake was made by a friend of ours as a gift.  I bought flowers and greens and another friend arranged them to decorate the cake.

 

SNEAK PREVIEW

Weddings aren’t like “the old days”!  Here is what the bride is going to wear on her special day:

I think they are wonderful!

 

THE NEGATIVE POST

Some have asked me to tell my feelings about finishing 17 years of homeschooling and then having one son leave home for far-away Florida while the other son commutes to college every day.  Here are random thoughts I’ve had in the last few months:

*     A friend told me there will be so many exciting opportunities of new things I can try and do, and that I should welcome this new phase of my life!  I thought about it for a few months and decided no.  I really like the phase of life I had.

*     In July, my cousins (who have 2 children the same age as mine) mentioned they might drive over to their daughter’s place and watch fireworks from her front porch.  I looked at them and thought with horror, “How CAN they stand it?  Living all alone in their house without their children??”

*     The day after arriving home from leaving my oldest in Florida, someone publicly made a big deal about how different I am from themselves, free and easy at last, living it up!  I was hurting inside so much, but there is no sympathy for those who are free.

*     Sometimes, I feel like an old woman, a nursing home woman, who has no purpose and who is no longer needed.  Because most of my friends were homeschoolers, the phone no longer rings, I am forgotten, and promises once made to include me in the future are broken.

*     As a Christian, my focus has always been on others, as it should be.  Sometimes I’m now wondering if there must indeed be times when it needs to be “the dwarves for the dwarves”  (as in C.S. Lewis, or is it Tolkien?) and if I don’t look out for myself–well, nobody else is.

*     I saw a mother pushing a cart in the store parking lot, with her 3-year-old son trying to help with all his tiny might.  It reminded me of how my oldest son used to be; I had to stop the car and cry.

*     My husband and I have talked about how difficult losing a parent is, and how nobody really talks about it much.  It happens to everybody, and everyone else is genuinely sympathetic, but at the same time, it seems a part of life that you have to go through mostly by yourself.  I am thinking it must be this way for an “empty nest” woman too.

*     Maybe it’s because the hurt is sometimes so deep that it can’t be talked about.

I don’t always feel this way, but sometimes I do.  On the other hand, I’m still just as busy as I ever was, and I’m still waiting for ALL THAT FREE TIME I’m supposed to get now.  The promise of it does feel exciting!  My future daughter-in-law moved in a few days after my son moved out, and while we’re shy with each other, I am included in the plans for the wedding, which will happen at the end of December.  I am teaching a speech class locally once a week, have plenty of historical balls to plan for, and homemade soap to make.

And plenty of blog writing to catch up with, now that I’ve gotten this out of the way!

 

ANOTHER GRADUATION, WITH PARTY

We celebrated the high school graduation of my youngest son this past weekend.  As do a lot of homeschoolers around here, we had a ceremony and a party at home. 

We borrowed a tent in case of rain.

Dad handed out the diploma.

We gave speeches, had prayer, sang a hymn together, and played volleyball.

The food theme was ICE CREAM!

With all the fixins’

Everyone was asked to bring their favorite quotation.  Younger Son chose his three favorites and those folks won a prize.

We also gave door prizes for the person who unknowingly sat in a specially-marked chair, for the person who guessed the right amount of candy in a jar, and for people who got their ice cream in a special red bowl.

Later on, the extended families of my husband and myself sat around, cooked hot dogs over the fire, and visited.  Since mine are from Indiana, we don’t do that very often.

My speech at the ceremony was to be An Encouragement.  This is what I nervously said:

My youngest son is officially graduating from high school.  He’s got a good heart, a lot of patience, and a great dry sense of humor.  I enjoy him very much.  I know he will continue to do well with his life.

When he was a baby, I often sang hymns to him, and a phrase from one of these comes especially to mind today:
 
“Like a shepherd, Jesus will guard His children; in His arms He carries them all day long.”

This is what I would like him to especially remember and to be encouraged by.

We all have wonderful events in our lives, and sometimes we have difficulties too.  But always–ALWAYS–Jesus will be our Shepherd, guiding us, guarding us, and yes, even CARRYING us through it all.

So, your heart can be filled with comfort, and peace, and joy!  God bless you, Ben!

 

SHOPPING WITH THE ELDERLY

Here is one of my older entries that I thought you might enjoy (January 29, 2006):

It seems to me, that after thousands of years of youngers caring for the elderly, the public sector would have come up with a special code for communication.

You know:  when going to the bank with your 90-year-old mother, wouldn’t it be nice to simply wave your little pinky–and the bank teller would immediately know, “This one’s a little deaf!  Speak loudly!”

Or an arch of the right eyebrow would mean, “My mom’s got the mental ability of a 5-year old–go slow and simple!”

A left eyewink says:  “This old geezer is sharp as a tack, don’t try to pull anything over on him and DON’T treat him like a child!”

My family, being more practical-minded, says it wouldn’t work after a while.  We youngers would grow old and know the code.  “Ah,” but my husband says with a scratching of his chin, “you could counter-code back.  This means ‘I’m not as crazy as she thinks!'”          

 

GRADUATION 2010

Grove City College, Class of 2010:

Trumpets begin the ceremony

My Older Son

I amused myself with the graduates’ shoes

 

My Older Son and his dad

 

EACH ONE IS DIFFERENT

Yes, it is so true. 

Younger son:

Older son: