HIPPO-CATIC OATHS

I read an interesting diet tip taken from one of Oprah’s favorite diet-help books:  Take one of Listerine’s breath strips to help stop food cravings.

When I was a kid, we had outdoor kittens every summer.  We always had to use worm medicine on them; seems like that’s one of the things you had to do with kittens.

One time, Mom bought the medicine and gave it to our kittens.  Maybe she read the directions wrong and gave them too much, I don’t know, but we were sitting in lawn chairs talking about something or other when suddenly one of the kittens leaped up and began dashing about like a possessed demon!  Crashing into the legs of the lawn chairs, zipping here and there—bam!  bam!

That’s what I felt like when I tried the Listerine Cure.

I mean, is that stuff legal??!!  The only way I can figure it stops cravings is that because when you die, it’s true you have no more cravings then.  I dashed about the house with my mouth open wide, saliva pooling in my mouth…are you supposed to swallow when you eat one of those??

Must be why the packaging is so cute.

I haven’t eaten anything since.

 

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